I am in a funk. I’ve been really tired as of late, for one thing, which has meant a lot of sleeping in, sleeping early, dozing off, taking naps, wearing pajamas all day, and worse than that, I’ve been lazy. I have a lot of cleaning, sorting, packing that I could be doing, but instead I sit down (or lay down in a configuration of pillows on my bed which I have only discovered since this funk started) and read a novel or stare listlessly and restlessly at a wall.
I have a great desire to get out of this funk, to resume regular and meaningful quiet time (which has been admittedly slow since camp ended), to become organized, dust off the clarinet, and pick up the pieces. There’s a scene in Pride and Prejudice [A Latter Day Comedy] that shows the heroines, Jane and Elizabeth, coming back from their own slump. I would play the sound track, but my iPod has decided to pursue a career in mime and only appears to be playing, rather than actually allowing sound to come forth.
I am excited for the fall to start, and fearful at the same time. What will I do outside the comfortable confines of school? I am good (or at least have been good) at studying, writing papers, pulling off massive feats of procrastination and stress. Now that it’s time for [gasp] the real world, what do I have to lean on, what expectations can I have?
I cling to the fact that Jesus is unchanging and am expectant to see Him carry me out of the whole I have dug. I pray that the Holy Spirit would move me and rescue me from the self-pity and lethargy I’ve wallowed in.
Who knew that summer vacation could be so detrimental to one’s health? Now that I’ve had three weeks off, I certainly wish it had only been one :). I was glad to spend time with K, now in MN, and a little time with Dad, too. Hopefully that can continue this year with my “weekends”.
So here’s to growing up and living to the fullest!