think tank

It’s after 11 p.m. and I am not only awake, I am not in the least bit tired. This is not an often event any more…sometimes I stay up irresponsibly late (like this…except even later), but I am fighting the closed eyes and yawns. I suppose I could lie in bed and allow the buzzing thoughts to buzz behind closed eyes and under covers, but I’m up.

A high school friend got engaged this weekend. Woo hoo! I love to celebrate weddings, especially between believers, for the awesome ministry God has for marriage…being a reflection of His redemptive love for his bride the church.

On Thursday of this week I had the notion to walk to a park that is close to my apartment that has “walking trails”. I found them (these eluded me on a run weeks back) and found it to be as though I had left small town USA and entered a Tolkien scene. The slight wrinkle in exploring territory “un-explored” was the recently mowed grass. A dead giveaway to the knowledge of the path. More magical and lovely was the clover-carpeted path through the woods which led to a fairly wonky bridge that was (no joke) being propped up by a thick board. I stepped lightly over that and continued up and down hills around a prairie. The sun even came out. That was nice. It’s the sort of place where you contemplate your existence as being small and God’s intricate interest in us as being great. I love feeling small in that regard (and yet so well cherished).

I participated in a blood drive last Monday at Cornerstone and was close to evangelizing to my blood draw-er. It was slightly awkward because 1) it was on a bus…a blood drive bus, in park 2) he was a bit too friendly/attentive 3) he started working on someone else’s blood donation in the middle. I don’t doubt that God has a plan for his knee to eventually bend (perhaps it has…but in conversation it sounds as though he’s got some confusion/doubts), but I wonder what I accomplished in hesitating in a couple trails of conversation. I’m praying specifically for God to be at work for the tech, but also to increase my boldness and faith in God to provide words. I could probably justify my hesitating in a handful of ways, but I think I was timid and acted accordingly. I was not given a spirit of Timidity, according to God’s word, but of Power. My flesh’s weakness is resorting to that timidity.

Another week of camp deserves my rest and attention…so I’ll go try for it. Peace.

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