Obedience to God is not my first nature. Clearly, as I participate in sin daily (minute by minute, more like), but on the big things, too. Am I stuck in that rut? No. Have I shown evidence of the fruit of obedience before? Yes. Does either of those things make saying Yes any easier? No, unfortunately.
I’ve mentioned that I’m going to make this place home, that I’m going to strive to plant roots here. Today I said “yes” to God by saying “no” to something else very dear to me. I thought I was well resolved and glad for that decision to follow the Lord in obedience, but on this end it stinks because I have taken public steps to physically commit myself to this place, this small town, this community.
Lest you think I interpret God’s plan for me to be to stay here forever because I am making it my home, be aware that I am simply giving Him that option. I still have the desire to leave, but I’ll proceed as though I don’t with the confidence that God will give me flexibility to leave when (if) he calls me away. This under the assumption that He will grow me here in this place.
I’m trying to think of instances of obedience being difficult and easy when it comes to God’s commands. My memory fails me because I can’t think of difficult “yes” times happening before. Superficial ones, yeah. I mean, I’ve told God “yes” to his plans for my future (marriage, location, vocation), but never with concrete ramifications in mind that are painful or difficult to face.
So, yeah. I’m a little bummed. But my joy is in the Lord as I look to Him for fruit in this obedience. Even if it’s a little prickly on the outside and tough to open.