Have you ever gotten caught worrying or dreaming about things to the extent that you shape your plans accordingly? I, most humbly, have been caught.
And for all of the (excuse me, if you’ve already offered it to me) glib comforting imaginable…you deserved it, this is God’s will, aren’t you glad you still have this instead…, it stings the MOST because I know that I made plans in my heart according to my own ways when I knew I was to make plans according to God’s ways.
Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
(Proverbs 19:21 ESV)
This quoted verse might be over-used, out of context, or presently aggravating (salt in the wound), but I can’t keep from including it. As much as I celebrate now God bringing me to a community that I hated for a while, today I faced the reality that He might not have me stay where it’s comfortable. I long for the days when the tears are over to the extent that I can look back on this time and say THAT’S WHAT HE WAS DOING! When I can share God’s faithfulness in the clearly, carefully, and beautifully orchestrated story of my life. Until then, kleenex in hand as I mop up the shame I feel for making plans in my mind that were outside of His purpose for now, I will trust (and repeat to myself over and over) that God is faithful, and good, and that His purposes are not to harm, but to bring to completion the good work already started in me (yeah, Philippians shout out).
Today I am thankful that God has made a way for me to be in a church, close enough that my beloved family can be near me and visit frequently, and that I can trust Him.