Portion control

Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Oh, sage wisdom. Advice like this makes sense in my head, and yet I can point to examples of my actions not demonstrating the learning. In relation to food I’ve figured out how to take reasonably sized bites so that I can taste, swallow, and maintain civility in eating (and let us be thankful for that), but my habits in the many other areas of life are something like the hot-dog eating contests you see on T.V. around July 4th–cramming in as much as I can in a short amount of time.

I’m encouraged even by assigned reading in a writing style book to set manageable goals that aid accountability and progress, but my focus slips and widens to the bigger picture and before I know it I am overcome with the weight of the entire task. I’m specifically referring to a writing assignment this week that deserves more attention before Friday but is being pushed out of the way by a combination of music theory assignments piling up, a barrier in resource-gathering, and close to no motivation to sit and be productive. It probably doesn’t help that my living room is filling up with boxes that are beginning to become resting places for piles of work for school. And there’s a fly that has plagued me for three days. He’s actually sitting on my leg in sort of a friendly, pet-like manner at the moment. So far Sir Fly has avoided the fly-swatter pretty deftly, so perhaps he deserves to stay alive to keep me company. As long as he stops landing on my forehead and hands we can sort of be friends.

I have this great longing to create in the midst of this brain-power-turmoil. I want to practice lettering (not a new thing, just embellished letters and doodles…they’re all over my school notes), write letters to people, knit things, sew, play guitar. It’s impractical with the amount of time in a day that I actually have available to work (which is limited by things besides school as well, mostly good things). For now I relish the first cup of coffee as do-not-disturb time, a little bit of exercise (less than I’d like) to scrape up endorphins, and the intentional “sleep-in” planned for Saturday.

I know things aren’t really that bad, that I’ve had busier schedules and harder emotional seasons, but it feels like a lot right now. I have to keep in mind that it’s almost over (10 theory lectures and 8 writing lectures remain) and that the end result will be worth the trouble.

For now I’ll toast to a rocked music theory test (granted, by my lowered standard of “rocking” tests for this class…B is passing…and I’m thankful for that) with a glass of orange juice.

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