I had a beautiful gift of a day off yesterday for Good Friday and a day (today) without obligations. I used the day mostly to study, but the evening hasn’t been very fruitful in that regard. I’m ready to move beyond the test, when I start looking for a home to buy (which is exhausting to consider, but I’m just not in love with renting this apartment enough to stay and I told myself I wouldn’t move to another apartment just for the sake of moving)…and do all the things I feel like I shouldn’t do now (mostly watching TV or hanging out with friends without feeling nervous about the time).
I don’t do very well with stress. I think I’ve known this about myself for a while. I wear it on the outside, majorly. I’ve been hopping from one stressful event to another for a couple months now and I believe I’m continually hopeful that “this will be it,” but the next one comes along. The pat Christian answer is to admit that I’m supposed to surrender that stress and rest in God’s steadfast care and faithful provision, but that yielding isn’t a one-and-done process for me. I get that my value and eternal significance aren’t at at stake in stressful circumstances…on a bigger scale I can yield stress, but the details are all up in my face.
And so I’ll chip away at what I’ve got and try to be patient through the hard things rather than wish they were over.
Also, as if I didn’t have enough on my mind, I’m afraid that I’ve killed (or am in the process of killing) one of the heartiest plants I’ve ever had. It’s survived six years of my care, but I replanted it last week and it’s not liking the new digs too well. I’ve probably watered it more than ever before, so maybe it’s just drowning. Or maybe I’m really bad at repotting and I severed it’s main root or something. Eep. Come on little plant – grow!. It makes me want to take a cutting just in case the stem dies. I might go do that now.
Happy Easter to you all 🙂